Onett Times
The Archive of Travelers' Tales
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The Legend of Zelda
Metroid
Starfox
Earthbound
Kid Icarus
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Mysterious Meteorite Crashes North of Onett
Late last night, the town was rocked by a meteor that crashed to earth just north of Onett. There were no witnesses to the collision itself, and the police, suspecting that aliens were on board, immediately cordoned off the site and constructed road blocks to keep any unauthorized beings from coming or going. Many people awakened by the crash tried to get a glimpse of flying debris, but the boys in blue kept them at a distance. No one actually admitted to seeing aliens coming from the meteor, but with some of the strange happenings around here lately, it's certainly possible that extraterrestrial beings are at work. Some of them may even be people you talk to on the street today! Be sure to pass along a friendly Onettian welcome to the visitors, no matter what they look like.
The Sharks Claim, "Reformed!"
Longtime bad boy Frank, leader of the notorious Sharks gang, claimed today that he and his gang have reformed. Long known for terrorizing women and children, the Sharks claim that they will be organizing a food drive next month. The surprising turnabout came at the hands of Ness, who thumped the boys soundly and made them promise to devote their time and efforts to worthwhile causes henceforth.
Giant Step Said to Hold Psychic Powers
Scientists announced today that Giant Step holds a strange psychic power, confirming suspicions held by many Onettians for decades. When pressed, the scientists declined to identify the source of the mysterious power, but those who have experienced it assume that it comes from the foot of the giant who left his footprint there. Not all are able to experience the power.
Police Attack Innocent Boy!!
Five policemen, under the direction of Chief Strong, ganged up on a local youth who, they claim, was trespassing in closed territory. To their surprise, the boy trounced them all, including the chief. It was caught on video by a bystander and will be aired on this evening's news.
Alien Invasion Thwarted by Teen Heroes
Ness and his companions returned victorious today out of mortal danger in the labyrinth of the alien fiend known as Giygas. Upon arriving in the Saturn Valley, Dr. Andonut greeted his son, Jeff, and the other travelers who had returned from the past. Gifts and warm congratulations were offered in Saturn Valley. Some of the gifts contained letters from friends and family wishing the heroes a speedy return home. Paula and Ness took leave of the festivities in the Valley and headed home. In Twoson, Paula was swarmed by the happy children at the Polestar Preschool. After seeing Paula's parents, the young couple moved on to Onett, where the entire adventure began. The town had returned to its normal, peaceful state. The dogs no longer attacked and the sun was shining. Ness wandered about the town, speaking to old friends and accepting their congratulations until finally it was time to go home. The conquering heroes received a warm welcome from Ness's mother, who was reported to be bursting with pride. "I always thought Ness was special," she told reporters. "Even as a baby he could bend spoons with his special powers. I just hope all this excitement didn't spoil his appetite." Back at Ness's home, the two alien-thrashing heroes shared the excitement of their journey by showing Ness's mom the photo album created by the traveling photographer.
Ness, Hero or Boy?
The recent events that led to the defeat of Giygas have made a young man from Onett the world's foremost super hero. Young Ness proved his courage and fortitude by taking on the alien menace when no one else dared to step forward. The question now is what this amazing young man will do next. Will he go to school? Visit Disneyland? Or will he be called upon to defend the Earth once more?
A Letter from the Future
After the bows have been taken and the credits run, Ness wakes up to a pounding at the front door. It's Picky, Pokey's little brother, bearing a letter. It seems that Pokey will seek revenge, and that the adventure has just begun.
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